Fear
by Scecky
Summary: When Pansy hears noises in her head, she knows only Ernie can help. WARNING: Contents may disturb you. In a bad way.


Pansy Parkinson had been feeling a little strange today. She'd woken up with the metal plate in her skull throbbing; throughout the day it had become stronger and stronger, eventually becoming so incessant that she began to understand strange messages pulsing through her skull-plate. "Beep bop boop," they said.

Pany wondered what the hell it could be. Were they speaking Spanish? Just because she could hear the sounds coming from the shiny disc that cupped her fragile mind didn't mean she could understand what they were saying. "Beep Bop Boop" rung in her head over and over again as she sat through the fourth-year Astronomy class the Slytherins shared with the Hufflepuffs. She could hardly pay attention to the lesson on the Orion's Junk constellation.

"Beep Bop Boop," it repeated. Pansy groaned. Each time she heard it creamily oozing through her fragile consciousness, it became louder and louder. By the time her class had let out, she had had enough. She knew a boy in Hufflepuff named Ernie MacMillan who was a bit of a language buff; she would approach and intimidate him into translating the message she was repeatedly receiving in her brain.

First, she had to unfurl herself from the fetal position she was rocking in under her desk. She wondered why people looked at her strangely when she got up, smacked her head, and screamed corpulently: "FUCK IT ALL! Beep bop boop!!!". Raising the finger between her point and ring fingers at all of the onlookers, she scraggily limped toward Ernie's fine form.

"You must help me, beep bop boop!" she whispered exasperatedly in his elephantine ear. "I'm getting this message in my brain, Ernie. You have to translate it. Beep bop boop." She finished, a crazed look gracing her bugged-out eyeballs.

"Ummm... " said Ernie. He turned to look at her, only to find her teeth were clamped around his earlobe... possibly trying to steal his fourteen-karat silver petroleum gem that delicately graced the lobe in a small hug of a hoop. "What is it saying?" he asked.

"BEEP BOP BOOP!" she shrieked insensitively, like a blade of grass playing the fiddle. "That's what it says, you black-and-yellow badger-fucking clumsy fattass son of a helga bitch! BEEP BOP BOOP!"

Ernie looked taken aback, much how he looked when he was being pegged by his girlfriend, Susan Bones, who usually used a strap-on vibrator of pink silicone, approximately 18 inches long and 7 inches around, without lube. Slowly, realization dawned on his doughy face.

"This is just like in that science fiction book I read in the library!" he exclaimed corpulently, as though he had just groaned and creamed himself like a howling donkey. "It must be illegal aliens infiltrating their way into your thick cranial cavity!" he explained, pretending he actually knew what the fuck he was talking about. He really just wanted to get back to pegging.

Pansy's eyes bugged out even further. "Illegal aliens!? You mean, like, on the sci-fi channel? Grey men? Beep bop boop?" she looked scared, much like how she looked when her 7-foot-tall uncle Jeb approached her for one of his holiday rape sessions. No, that made her smile. This was more like when Draco wore purple women's thongs, one on each of his arms, one of his face, one on his neck, one as a breastplate, and nothin else below.

"Yeah," said Ernie. "Yeah, you'd better watch out for space ships." He rolled his eyes to himself. What a fucking idiot.

One of Pansy's eyeballs fell out in shock. Just then, the metal plate on her occipital ridge pulsated so intensely it left a dent in her acne-covered skin. She fell down, appalled, and her other eyeball fell out. Ernie looked on, disgusted, much like when he walked in on his mother masturbating with an anvil.

Pansy, blind, deaf, and dumb, lay there on the floor in a puddle of disgusting, puss-covered waste, Ernie couldn't help but crap his own pants in empathy. It seeped down the legs of his dockers and into his high-heeled Ugg cleats. He groaned appreciatively as the oozing fecal deluge creamily coated Pansy's fallen eyeballs.

Pansy moaned in appreciation. She picked up her poop-covered eyeballs and pop them back into her face. But they were in backwards. So she saw a little tiny man running in her brain. Who was that guy? She screeched in horror. All of a sudden, she felt herself lifted up in a beam of purple light. The sensation was much ike being lifted by her 7-foot-tall uncle Jeb and placed onto his dangling, meaty cum cannon.

Ernie puked in terror and glee. He backed up slowly, not wanting to anger the small man in Pansy's cranial cavity, but slipped in his own shit. Pansy shrieked louder as she heard him try to escape. It did the trick, much like your whore mother. They were now both being beamed up to something or other, probaby a creepy alien ship. What were they going to do?

Ernie reached into his colon and pulled out a hammer. He knew the only way to get rid of the small man was to beat Pansy senseless, as if he were a mountain lion jumping over a crystal clear mountain stream. He got to work reaming her face, sledging in her facial features and skull. Pansy could see the small man's arms and legs falling off into her nasal cavity. "It's working!" she tried to shout, but she didn't have a mouth anymore.

Ernie continued onward, wailing away like a rock musician on her guitar while sleeping in bed with his prostitute. Soon, Pansy's head resembled a mixture of puked-up pizza and broken shards of greasy glass. He look the chainsaw out of his urethra and sawed off Pansy's neck. The man inside was finally dead. They were gently placed on the ground, gravity finally back intact. Ernie and Pansy hugged.

Ernie, accidentally kick Pansy's head a good eight hundred yards away, decided not to tell Pansy this, instead shoving her on the floor and walking away, like a deadbeat dad walking out on his pregnant partner while in labor, going off to the bar to find some cheap whore with which to fornicate. "Sayonara, Slutface" he said, like his father had told his mother in a tale he had heard every birthday since he could remember. He went off to find someone to perform the Obliviate spell on him.

FIN


End file.
